Gardiennes d'enfants de l'abc
by doyouhearthefandomssing
Summary: Alex pushed Courfeyrac's hands away looking up at Combeferre "Uncle Fewwe whats an arse?"


**So this was an idea stuck in the back of my mind for ages and I am so happy it's finally become something! Credit for the cover goes to the wonderful pennylanes (check out her tumblr epjolras). And to my wonderful editor (cheyanneasaur), I owe you. You did an amazing job.**

**Without further ado Part 1 out of 3**

**Disclamier: If I owned Les Mis- lets not even begin to think what I'd do with it ;)**

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Joly arrived at exactly 5:44, one minute before he was due to arrive. Eponine had reminded all of them time and time again that at least one of them needed to be there by 5:45. Glancing around he came to the conclusion he was the only one to arrive in a timely fashion and none of the other Amis had bothered to show yet, so he knocked on the door. A frazzled looking Enjolras answered, a look of relief washing over his features.

"Ah Joly, thank God! Eponine thought you guys were going to back out last minute."

Joly smiled at his friend and shook his head, "Never mon ami. The Amis have been waiting to see the little tyke again"

It was then when he noticed a small boy, who was hiding behind one of Enjolras's legs. He clutched the left side of his father's pants as if his life depended on it, burying his face in the silky black fabric. Chuckling, Enjolras detached the boy, collecting him into his arms.

"'Xander," he murmured soothingly as the boy, no more than 2, dug his face into Enjolras's shoulder. "This is your uncle Joly. Remember him? He's the one who gave you the little bottle of sanitizer we use after our trips to the park." Joly couldn't help but stand a little straighter. "Come on, he won't bite!"

"I would also suggest to wash your hands in addition to using sanitizer after a trip to the park-" Joly trailed off when he received a glare from Enjolras. The curly haired toddler picked his head up slowly, still holding on to his father's shirt like a lifeline.

"Jowy," he said quietly, his hazel eyes, so much like Eponine's Joly noted, carefully examining the unfamiliar man.

He laughed, agreeing with the child, "Yes, I'm your mummy and daddy's friend. Remember, we used to play with my doctor tools." Alèxander gave him the tiniest of smiles before retreating back into the white folds of Enjolras's shirt. Stepping aside, he motioned for Joly to follow him into the flat. "Don't worry, he is a little shy at first; but he will eventually warm up to you."

Joly stifled a gasp when he first laid eyes on the disheveled state of their apartment. Dishes lay unwashed in the sink, food all over the floor, clothing strewn on backs of chairs and tables, books and papers littering every surface. Shivering in disgust, Joly watched as Enjolras carried the boy to the small living room, placing him on the couch, before turning on the TV. The toddler immediately became glued to the small box, forgetting his father and Joly had even existed.

"Eponine hates when I let him watch TV, but sometimes it's the only way to get him distracted and quiet." Enjolras explained, making his way back to the kitchen.

"'Jolras, how could you ever let the place get like this! It's so unsanitary!" Joly said exasperatedly, his friend laughing at his observation. "Not funny," he mumbled irritably, "it's not healthy, especially with a small child around. What happened to you and your cleanliness?"

"Well mon ami, this is what happens when you have kids. Unfortunately all of our attention is on him, so we let other things slide. 'Ponine had a particularly tiring day, since he refused to nap, and as a result, our place is even messier than normal." he picked up a few Goldfish that lay scattered on the floor. "Thank you guys for doing this again. It's been really hard, and the pressure is starting to get to her. Don't get me wrong, we love being parents, and we love Xander, but were so tired and never get a moment to ourselves. Plus our sex life has really taken-"

"I get it I get it!" Joly interrupted, "The intimate details of you and 'Ponine's 'bed life' is not something I want to know. Look Enjolras, you and Eponine have been working hard. You deserve to go out and spend some grown-up time together. I hope this time though, you guys remember to use protection."

Enjolras's face turned red and he coughed, signaling the end of discussion. "Anyway, if you guys could, some tidying wouldn't go amiss. Plus 'Ponine would really appreciate it." He glanced over to his son, who sat completely enamoured with the talking trains on the screen. "She's been looking forward to this evening for a long time. Preparing in every way possible. From talking to Xander every night about how 'all your uncles are coming to watch you so momma and dadda can get some time together' and how she wouldn't be there, to laying everything out for you guys so it's easier. But I'm not worried about leaving him alone. He'll forget about us five minutes after we leave. No, I'm worried about Eponine. She hasn't been without him since we first found out she was expecting. Hopefully she can let him go, but I can see she's freaking out a bit."

Joly nodded understandingly. "Just keep her distracted. All new parents have trouble leaving their children for the first time. When you started going back to work, you were a blubbering mess. If I remember correctly, you called home twenty-four times, and then Eponine's cellphone sixty times until she picked up once, demanding you stop, since you were keeping her and the baby from sleeping. Even now, you continue to call home at least twice an hour. Tonight will be especially difficult for her, so just be supportive"

As if on cue, Eponine hurried out of the couple's bedroom. Joly's jaw dropped in surprise. She was beautiful- no, stunning. Not that his Eponine (or "Ninny", their pet name for her) wasn't usually beautiful. It was just that, since Alèx was born, she only had the energy to throw on Enjolras's baggy sweatshirt, and toss her hair into a messy bun. Tonight she wore a knee length red dress that hugged her curves, her hair twisted into an elegant up-do, curls framing her face. Motherhood looked good on Ninny; her entire body glowed

"Joly!" she ran into his arms, hugging him tightly. He caught a whiff of her hair (apple blossoms?), lingering for a second more than he should have, only to be reminded moments later by Enjolras clearing his throat, a look of daggers being sent his way. He let go quickly, kissing her cheek.

"_Ma chérie_, you look gorgeous."

She blushed, making her cheeks seem rosier. "Merci mon petit hypocondriaque. It's been awhile since I have dressed up. Nice to be back in this ol' dress."

Joly opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Enjolras pulling her towards him, "Joly has stolen the words from my mouth 'Ponine."

She laughed, wrapping her arms around his middle, leaning into him. "You were always quite fond of this dress 'Ras. I don't know why though. It's a simple little thing"

"Hmm," he murmured pecking her nose, "Maybe because it's red?"

Joly wasn't quite sure what had happened in the next few moments. First Enjolras was placing a chaste kiss on her nose and then suddenly, the two were lip-locked as if it was the last night on earth.

"Woah, woah I am still here guys!" Joly intervened. The couple pulled apart quickly, as if they had been burned. Eponine stared at her feet, her face turning the color of her dress. Enjolras rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "You two put Marius and Cosette to shame."

Eponine hit him playfully. "Don't act like you and Musichetta are Joseph and the Virgin Mary!"

It was Joly's turn to blush, cursing quietly to himself. Enjolras smiled proudly, "That's my girl."

A sharp knock resonated through the apartment, causing the adults to jump. "The rest of the boys are here 'Ponine."

"About time," she muttered walking to the door, "I told them 5:45 and its five to six" Opening the door, she immediately scowled at her guests, "Where the hell were you guys?"

Grantaire was the first to speak "Ah, you look beautiful tonight mademoiselle."

"Do not try to woo me 'Taire it's not going to work."

"If I might say, it was Jehan's fault!" Courfeyrac piped up.

Jehan punched Courfeyrac in the shoulder, pushing his way to the front.

"You do look dashing this evening Ninny, but it wasn't my fault."

Eponine shook her head. "I don't care who did what, all that matters is you're here and you need to watch my son."

They all nodded in unison a few "Yeps" and "Of courses" ringing through the group. She stepped aside, letting the boys filter in slowly, Combeferre shutting the door behind them. Due to the small area, they crowded in the kitchen shoulder to shoulder. It was quite an odd spectacle seeing nine grown men awkwardly standing next to each other. Enjolras bit back a laugh as the men refused to look at each other.

Eponine arrived back holding the toddler. "Alèx, these are your uncles," he took one look at the group before cowering against his mother, pressing into her neck.

"Aw, come on Alèx, you remember us right?"

Eponine kissed his head, placing him on the ground attempting to release him. "Alèx, why don't you show them your shirt?"

Bousett got down on his knees, hoping to seem a bit less more intimidating. "Can you show me? I would love to see it!"

Alèx crossed his arms over his chest shyly. Bousett chuckled, "Please? I'll show you my shirt!"

The boy dropped his arms slowly, still holding the hem of Eponine's dress. All the men laughed at the small child's shirt.

"Well then Xander, you're 'daddy's little rebel'?" Bousett repeated the shirts tricolor lettering.

Alèxander nodded vigorously, his blonde curls bouncing. Eponine smiled, "It's his favorite. Enjolras picked it out "

The blonde child pointed a sticky finger at Bousett, saying, "Your shirt!"

"Ah yes, as promised." He slid his coat off his arms letting the toddler scan the white shirt. "Mine isn't as cool as yours."

"Look at mine Alèx, its actually got words." Comberferre pushed Bousett aside taking his place on the floor, "See? It says 'Got thought?' and under it, it reads 'philosophy'. Did your daddy tell you what that is?"

"Aw Comb, stop educating the poor thing, he's two for God's sake!" Grantaire cut in, "With a dad like 'Jolras, let him stay young a little longer "

"Hey!" Enjolras said exasperatedly "Enough. Since when did this become 'let's turn Enjolras's son against him.' 'Ponine, we're going to be late, let's get going." He grabbed his keys and made his way to the door. Alèx toddled after him as fast as his chubby legs would allow.

"Dada!" cried the child. Enjolras smiled, picking him up.

"I'll be back soon buddy, ok? Be good for your uncles." He kissed the messy blonde mop before passing him off to Eponine. Alèx began to realize they were leaving him, and he tightened his grip on his mother.

"I love you baby, be good and mommy will be back soon ok?"

The boys heard her voice crack ever so slightly. Jehan tried to pry the boy away but he was holding on too tightly. "No mama, no."

Enjolras sighed placing a hand on the small of Eponine's back. "Sweetheart we have to go."

"Maybe it's too early." Her muffled response suggested she was close to tears. "He's still too young."

"'Ponine, he's fine. They'll take good care of him." Jehan had finally managed to pull the boy away. Alèx began to cry, trying to squirm his way out of the poet's arms.

"Mama! Mama!" Tears swam in Eponine's eyes as her son cried. "It's alright_ mon petit garcon_ Mama will be right back."

Joly helped Enjolras direct her out the door, Alèx's cries echoing behind them. It broke all of their hearts, but they needed to be strong. For Eponine.

"Have a great time Ninny, please. He'll be fine."

A tear slipped down her face "Please remember he likes to sleep with his stuffed elephant. Only apple juice at dinner, and he needs his France blanket, he won't even put his head on his pillow if he doesn't have it!" Enjolras wrapped an arm around her shoulders, sensing her oncoming episode.

"Don't worry chérie, he's all taken care of," Joly reassured softly, watching as the couple boarded the elevator. "Alèx is with the best babysitters you've ever seen" He was delighted to see the a small smile grace her face before the doors slid shut. The crying was still audible as he hurried back, cursing the boys for not already controlling him.

"Please tell me you guys know how to calm a two year old."

The group looked up from their positions on the floor, Alèx struggling in Jehan's arms. "We're trying, mon ami. He won't be quite!"

"Lemme try, the kid's probably thirsty," Grantaire put in .

"No way. Eponine will skin us alive if she found out you gave him alcohol."

"Relax Bousett. I wouldn't dare," he stood ambling to the fridge. "The little tyke needs some apple juice," he removed a juice box, carrying it back to the kicking toddler. "Hey Alèx, want some juice?"

The boy looked at him tearfully shaking his head.

"Mama!" he demanded.

"Alèx, mama went out for a little bit. But she'll be back very soon, I promise. You can have some apple juice while you wait."

He eyed the box reproachfully before reaching out and taking it. He sipped silently, keeping his eyes trained on the group. As soon as he finished he looked a bit more at ease, scrambling over to Joly. "Jowy, Jowy can we pway twains?"

The Les Amis sighed in relief, happy the boy had gotten over his mother being away. "Sure, show me where they are."

Alèx took Joly's hand, leading him to the small play room. He plopped himself down on the carpet, pointing at a small Thomas the Train plastic chair for Joly to settle in.

"Sit" he ordered, turning to his trains. Joly glanced at the boys with a pleading look on his face.

Grinning, Courfeyrac knelt, with some difficulty, and snatched a train into his hands. "So Xander, how do you play trains?"

The boy set the tracks down, lining his other toys up on top of them. "You haf to line 'em up Coufy!"

Courfeyrac began stacking the trains as Alèx directed Joly to finish building the tracks. "Uncle Taire you dwive the twain! Like daddy does!"

Grantaire looked horrified, but sat down, watching as Alèx gave him lessons. Jehan and Combeferre sniggered at the group. "Fewwe will you make the cho-choo sound like mama?"

Joly smirked, looking up from his track construction, "Yeah 'Ferre lets hear your best train impression."

"Shut up" Combeferre growled, his cheeks growing red, "You arse-"

"HEY Alèx where do you want me to put Percy?" Courfeyrac quickly interrupted, shoving the red train into Alèx's hands. Joly shot Combeferre a dangerous look.

Alèx pushed Courfeyrac's hands away looking up at Combeferre "Uncle Fewwe whats an arse?"

Grantaire sucked in breath. Jehan gulped. Bousett groaned. Courfeyrac put his head in his hands. Joly pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Uh- it's a word only big people like mommy and daddy can use. An arse is a mean person." Combeferre stuttered, looking to his friends for help.

"Like when mama makes me take a bath! She's an arse!"

"NO no no!" he rushed, "Don't say that word_ petit copain_!"

"Arse," Alèx repeated happily "arse, arse, arse!"

Combeferre smacked his forehead, leaning back in defeat. "Eponine is going to murder you. And then she's going to pass you on to Enjolras, and he's going to murder you twice over."

He moaned in reply, "God dam- God dang it! I am so screwed."

Alèx continued to run around, enthusiastically relaying his new vocabulary word, "Fewwe's an arse!"

Bousett gently placed a hand on the toddler's shoulder bringing him to a stop, "Alèxander your mum would not be happy if you said that so can we not repeat the word?"

The toddler looked up wide eyed at Bousett, "I being bad uncle 'Sett?" The older man shook his head handing him the forgotten train.

"No Alèx you just need to watch what you say. Uncle 'Ferre is an adult so he can say those things. Why don't we keep playing trains?"

The boy nodded, resuming his play with the tracks Joly had set up. Bousett glanced at Combeferre "You owe me big time."

"Thank you," he mouthed back. "Alright Alèx what do you want me to say?"

"Cho choo!" he sang happily. "Jowy and Coufy can go to the station," he handed them two plastic figures, "You wait for the twain to come. Fewilly can be the ticket man and-"

"Look Alèx," Grantaire interrupted "this game sounds very- taxing. Why don't we play my version of trains."

"Your version Grantaire? Please enlighten us."

Alèx frowned "NO! It was my game, Uncle 'Taire! I don't wanna play your game!"

"Trust me, you'll love it. The first thing we're going to do is take all of the couch pillows, blankets, chairs, toy bins-"

"Please don't tell me were going to be destroying their house even further"

"Hush Jehan, just start collecting the stuff."

Pretty soon the group had managed to completely barricade the playroom door from the rest of the house. Grantaire had then gone separated them into two groups. One group, the "gardiennes d'enfants de l'abc", contained Joly, Alèx, Feuilly, and Grantaire, while the other, dubbed The National Guard, contained Combeferre, Coufeyarc, Jehan, and Bousett.

Grantaire lifted Alèx onto his shoulder, giving him a peak to the opposite side.

"Who's there?" Joly called out, imitating a tone of a soldier.

"La révolution de gardiennes d'enfants!"


End file.
